September 24th, 2009
|11:40 am - I need to use this thing more...|
just to vent, even. I've been so down in the dumps lately. I kinda feel like down in the dumps for people who aren't diagnosed depressives is just that, but for me, feeling so blue, likes physically aches. I've been sleeping too much and even with all the sleep, I feel lethargic. I have to push myself to do things. I dunno what's wrong with me. I know it will pass, it always does, but when is the question?
I'm just attempting to take things one day at a time...
Current Mood: depressed
May 1st, 2009
|10:49 am - Writer's Block: End of the World as We Know It|
Robert Frost speculated about the world ending in fire or in ice
. Which do you think is likely to end us all: meteorite, global warming, nuclear weapons, zombies, or the superflu?
Well, according to the guy on the train the other day, the world is going to end in 2012 anyway. Yeah right. I don't really speculate because the way I'm so nervous already thinking about the world ending isn't going to be a calming influence on me whatsoever. :)
April 30th, 2009
|11:17 am - Writer's Block: Swine Times|
Are you worried about catching the swine flu? Do you have a plan for avoiding contagion or dealing with quarantine?
I'm not worried...but a little concerned since there are 8 cases in New York and specifically, in Queens where we live. So yeah...a little concerned, but I've got alot better about worrying about things that are mostly preventable. Living in a huge city, we have to deal with germs all the time, what with riding the subway, so we're extra cautious with washing our hands all the time, staying away from sick people, etc. Plus, I have faith in that our health officials are taking the measures to deal with this.
March 10th, 2009
March 9th, 2009
|11:22 pm - Writer's Block: Almost Famous|
What celebrity do you think looks like you? What celebrity do other people say you look like?
Hmmmm...I've gotten Sandra Bullock and Claire Danes (back in My So-Called Life days) and Idina Mezel. I dunno though, I don't see it.
February 10th, 2009
|02:48 pm - Whole Foods is the devil...|
Well, not really the devil, per se. But everytime I go there, it's overcrowded and the stupidest, most ignorant people in the world happen to be there whenever I happen to decide to go there. Every asile I go down, there are people blocking it with their bodies or their carriages. Every time I come out of the aisle, people decide they're going to come barreling around the corner with their shopping cart. Plus, you feel like you can't stop for two seconds and see what you need because they are people ALL over the damn place. And forget the hot food bar area. Whole Foods gives me panic attacks. Yet, I go there, although not often, because I like the market itself. The food is yummy, so I go, even though it aggravates me. So what the hell makes Whole Foods so crazy? Other markets are not that insane.
Current Mood: okay
January 25th, 2009
|06:03 pm - Okey Dokey...|
Things are calm. Mom is doing OK and I finally feel like her divorce is a good thing. I guess sometimes to heal, we need to put distance between ourselves and what's hurting us.
I'm also kind of realizing that when crisis strikes, I'm not going to fall to pieces. I can handle bad things. It's eye opening to understand now I am stronger than I think I am. I really have come a long way since my father died.
My mantra is I am not going to be given more than I can handle. That's how I'm trying to live right now.
Current Location: home sweet home
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: As Cool As I Am- Dar Williams
January 5th, 2009
I'm kind of relieved the holidays are over. Not that they weren't great. They were, but Christmas seemed like alot of running around and spending a shit ton of money and then it was over in two seconds. And I loved that my mom and sister spent it with us, but at the same time, it was nice when they left because the hubby and I barely got to spend any alone time together. It was easy to get so caught up in the madness that we almost forgot it was our first Christmas as a married couple. That's OK. Our first New Year's as a married couple was fabulous, mostly because we spent it alone and it was very, very chill and low-key. Awesome.
Lots of things to look forward to in 2009. Hopefully I stick to my resolutions, of which there aren't many because I realized a long time ago making a million only sets myself up for failure, so I've just set a few big ones. I guess time will tell if I follow through. I think one of the top ones is not to let people get the best of me. I've found myself getting SO upset over how rude people can be and how selfish and thoughtless. Living in a big city, I witness it much more than I care to and it makes me crazy. Seriously, I let it ruin my day and I fear it's making me into a bitter, angry person. I'm going to try really hard to keep in my head the fact that I need to focus on the fact I only have control over how I act and what I do and not what others do. I can be a better person and not allow ignorance to posion me.
It's not going to be easy.
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Husband watching X-Men
December 17th, 2008
|12:50 am - sigh.|
why can't I enjoy life instead of worrying about EVERYTHING? I mean everything. Like if my husband doesn't answer his phone, something bad happened. Or if anyone doesn't answer the phone for that matter. I just keep calling (my OCD) and get more like a total wreck when no one answers. Forget about being rational. My panic disorder (which has been more or less under control for a few years now) just kicks into high gear and I worry non stop about all the things that could have happened to them. My anxiety has been SO bad lately and I feel like I can't control it. :(It sucks. Last week, my sister called to tell me she was hit by a drunk driver at 2am but she was OK. I guess that triggered something because I've noticed myself worrying more and more about everyone in my life. My best friend didn't answer her phone last night, so automatically I assumed the worst. I feel like when I tell other people how much I worry, they just think I'm crazy. They may be right. I feel crazy at times for worrying so damn much.
In happier news, I started randomly watching X-Files episodes on DVD tonight and I forgot how good that show was. Especially in the 4th and 5th season. IMO, the writing during that time period in the series was everything the writing in the movie wasn't. Clean and subtle and sharp. No clunky dialouge and thin plotlines. Oh well, at least the movie had Mulder and Scully in love. That redeemed it for me.
December 15th, 2008
|10:38 pm - the best part of Christmas is bad Lifetime movies...|
Indeed. But tonight when hubby gets home, there will be "Miracle on 34th Street" watching and I'll probably become a weepy, emotional wreck because that seems to be a recurring theme this holiday season. :)
i've been just sorta watching this cheesy christmas movie w. Jennie Garth for an hour now and I just realized the little boy is in a wheelchair. :O)
Current Mood: bored